My first #STCSummit: the debrief #STC23 #TechComm

This article is going out a little later than I’d hoped, but better late than never, and I wanted to get this out while stuff was still fresh in my mind.

After taking some time to recover, I’ve returned home from my first STC Summit! I’ve wanted to attend this event for some time, and I’m very glad I did!

I flew down on a Sunday, checked in, and took some time to decompress from my travels. (It took two flights and stops in two different cities before I arrived in Atlanta.) Even before the two-and-a-half days of sessions began, I connected with several people and even got into some deep discussions related to my upcoming presentation later that week.

I met a lot of people at this event, including STC leaders and other attendees. As it is with any conference event, networking is a huge part of it, and I did my share. My list of LinkedIn connections expanded significantly during the week! I also brought a stack of my business cards, thinking that I would have plenty to hand out. As it turned out, I should’ve brought the entire box. By the end of the conference, I only had two cards left. Personally, I like my business cards, and they’re always a conversation piece whenever I hand them out. I love the reactions I get when I give them to people!

There were a number of things that I took away from the Summit. Among them:

  • Jack Molisani, one of the people I met, had an article he had written about beating the ATS. I make no secret of the fact that I absolutely hate ATS. But regardless of how I feel about it, ATS is reality, and job hunters need to deal with it.
  • Jack also offered to review my resume. While I thought my resume was pretty good, I also recognize that there is always room for improvement, so I took him up on it. He gave me suggestions that didn’t even occur to me. Among them: list what I do at the very top, right-justify dates on my experience and education, use san-serif fonts to save space and for better readability, don’t list proprietary systems (genericize them instead), and make my accomplishments more actionable (e.g. “saved the company millions of dollars by…[doing this]”).
  • Jack also introduced me to Dr. Craig Baehr, the editor of Intercom magazine. We spoke about possibly writing an article in which they feature STC members (like me!). I told him that I was definitely interested, and would be in touch. I hope I can live up to the standards!
  • There were a number of sessions that spoke to me. I attended Amanda Patterson’s presentation about creating a taxonomy. I have to admit that information organization is an area when I could use some brushing up, and I found her presentation to be quite informative. I also attended Swapnil Ogale’s session about building an online portfolio. I have to admit that this is an area that had not occurred to me, and it’s definitely something I want to build. I’ve put in for jobs where employers ask me for writing samples, and I would send them a link where I keep a few PDF files. This session taught me that an online portfolio can be just as critical as a resume. I intend to set aside some time to build such a portfolio. The next time I’m asked for writing samples, I’ll be able to send them here.
  • I would be remiss if I didn’t talk about my own session. My job hunt presentation has been one of my best sellers as of late. I think this is one of my better presentations, and everyone I spoke with afterward said that I gave a good presentation. I’m happy to help people out as much as I can, and hopefully, attendees will have gotten something out of my session.
  • As part of the Summit activities, a resume review session was also offered. During my presentation, I encouraged people to sign up for it and get their resumes reviewed (a point that I mention during my presentation).

Of course, Summit wasn’t just about presentations. Conferences are also about people. I’ve attended enough PASS events that I have many friends I look forward to seeing, and STC Summit gave me an opportunity not just to network, but to make new friends as well! I succeeded in doing so; over the course of the first couple of days, although I had only just met most of these people, I felt just as comfortable around them as I do with people whom I’ve known for several years! I had no problem attending social events, spending time, and sharing meals with them!

They did have some evening social events planned, but I wasn’t able to partake because of my own plans. When I told people that I was heading to Atlanta for this event, several of my friends who live in the Atlanta area contacted me about getting together. I had dinner with four different friends over three nights. It was great getting together with friends whom I either haven’t seen in many years or don’t get to see very often, and it just added to my great experiences during my trip!

I decided to take Amtrak home, rather than flying. I enjoy traveling by train, and I wanted to take my time going home. It allowed me a chance to see parts of the country that I never get to see, as well as meeting more people on the train. My journey home, which took almost exactly 24 hours, included a three hour layover at Penn Station, which allowed me a chance to get myself a decent dinner in midtown Manhattan before catching my connecting train home.

I’ve spoken four times at PASS Summit, but this was my first time speaking for an STC event. This was important to me. Although I have been heavily involved with PASS, SQL Saturday, and a number of related events for several years (including co-founding a local user group), STC is much more closely related to what I do professionally, and speaking at STC Summit is something that has been on my bucket list for a little while. That item has now been fulfilled. That doesn’t mean I’ll rest on my Summit laurels; I fully intend to apply to speak at this event again, and I very much look forward to the next time!

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This Saturday, May 6: #SQLSaturday #SQLSatNYC #SQLFamily

This coming Saturday, I will be speaking at SQL Saturday NYC! Of all the SQL Saturdays, I have attended the NYC event the most, and this is one of my favorite events! It is a great opportunity for networking and to learn about a variety of data topics and professional development!

The event will be held at the Microsoft office, 11 Times Square, directly across the street from the Port Authority and right next to the New York Times building!

I will be doing two presentations:

SQL Saturday is always a good time! It is free to attend (there is a nominal fee for lunch), but you need to register. Go to the NYC SQL Saturday page for more information, including a link to register for this great event!

Hope to see you on Saturday!

We all get rejected. Don’t take it personally

You’ve been let go from your job. Or maybe you were passed over for the promotion. Or you applied to a position you very much wanted, and didn’t get so much as an acknowledgement of your application. Or you were turned down by the school or program that you had your heart set on attending. Or maybe your “great idea” got shot down. The list is nearly endless. Whatever the situation, or whatever the reason, we will all inevitably be rejected.

A couple of things made me think about this: a very recent situation where I was rejected for something (I won’t get into the details of it here), and the job hunt presentation that I just gave this past weekend at WE Local Hartford. In my presentation, I include a slide that talks about what to do when you’re rejected. I figured I should expand upon that. It occurred to me that, when it comes to professional development, we talk a lot about improving yourself and things to do to improve your chances. But we rarely talk about what happens when — not if — we get rejected.

Let’s face it. Getting rejected sucks. It’s a blow to your ego. You start thinking about what you did wrong. You start wondering if you’re really qualified to be doing what you’re doing. It’s often a major contributor, if not the root cause, of imposter syndrome. I can tell you that I’ve suffered my share of it, and it’s shaped my professional career in a number of ways. I would be lying to you if I said that I’m immune to rejection and it doesn’t get me down, because I’m not, and it does.

That said, when it comes to professional development, getting rejected is rarely personal. Now, I’m not going to lie and say that getting rejected for personal reasons doesn’t exist, because it does. But think of this: if you’re applying for a job or a school, what are the chances that someone making the decision knows who you are and is rejecting you because of a personal issue? I’d think that those odds are almost zero.

(It’s possible that maybe you were rejected because of some form of discrimination, such as racism, sexism, or ageism. However, this goes outside the scope of this article, and is another topic for another time.)

So how do you deal with rejection? I don’t know about the psychology behind dealing with rejection (that’s a conversation that goes beyond my education and expertise), but here’s what I think.

Remember that you are human. We are not machines. You are not expected to be perfect. You are going to make mistakes. In most cases, one or two slip-ups shouldn’t be enough to sink you. Don’t spend your time dwelling on what you did wrong. It’s often not worth the stress.

That said, make sure that you…

Fix whatever is broken. Each mistake we make is a learning experience. Find out what the mistake is and take steps to fix it so you’ll know better the next time it comes up.

So how do you find out what’s broken? For one thing…

Get feedback. It is perfectly okay to ask why you were rejected. Maybe you didn’t have the right skill set, or a skill was lacking. Maybe you didn’t communicate well. Whatever the reason, asking why you were rejected helps you to identify any issues that you need to fix.

It might also simply be that you just weren’t the right fit. I keep thinking of a scene at the beginning of Tootsie where Dustin Hoffman’s character was auditioning for a show. After arguing with the director as to why he should be picked, he was finally told, “we’re looking for somebody else, okay?” It takes two to tango, and not every match is a perfect fit, whether it’s different cultures, mindsets, skill sets, or whatever. Think of it this way: if it’s not the right fit, do you really want to be there, anyway?

Consider the competition. Maybe someone else has a better skill set, or is more experienced. Maybe there were 200 applicants for only one position, which means that 199 people were going to get rejected… and you just happened to be one of them. Only one person can be the best, so chances are that no matter how good you are, there will likely be someone who is better than you.

Always take the high road. Whatever you do, keep a positive mindset (yes, I realize that this is easier said than done). As I said earlier, it is okay to ask why you were rejected, and if you can get an honest answer, you can fix it and move on. You also don’t want to burn bridges; you never know whether or not you’ll need to deal with that person or company again. Even for jobs for which I’ve been rejected, I’ve asked if it was okay for me to connect with them on LinkedIn, and most of them have obliged.

Have a short memory. It’s human nature to dwell on what went wrong, so the ability to forget about it and move on can often be an asset. Even Mariano Rivera, the Hall of Fame relief pitcher who seemed nearly untouchable, gave up an occasional home run or walkoff hit. He often mentioned that one of his assets was to forget about it and move on to the next game.

Distract yourself. Something to get your mind off your experience might not be a bad thing. Forget about your issue for a while and go do something you enjoy. Go to a movie, work on your hobbies, play golf, hang out with friends, whatever it takes for you to get your mind off of it for a while.

Talk to someone. Don’t keep your emotions bottled up. Get it out of your system. Talk to a friend and say what’s on your mind. Not only will it feel good to unload your feelings, it’s also an opportunity to network.

When I gave my presentation in Hartford this past weekend, I asked if anyone had lost their job and was looking. One lady raised her hand. I didn’t get a chance to talk to her, but I did get a sense that she was frustrated by her situation. If she is reading this, I want to you know that it happens to the best of us. We’ve been there and done that. Don’t let the rejections define you.

Keep plowing through, and eventually, you’ll get accepted.

The zen of the New Year

Why do we celebrate the New Year? All it is, after all, is a turn of a calendar, when December rolls into January. January 1 isn’t much different than December 31. So what’s the big deal?

As I write this, it’s January 3, three days into 2023. I’m glad 2022 is behind me, as it was a very trying year (as I mentioned earlier), and I’m looking forward to what 2023 has in store. I already have two speaking engagements lined up, and I’m sure I’ll have more fairly soon. I’m getting ready to go back to work (even as I write this, I’m getting ready to head into the office), and I feel like it’s a fresh start.

That’s what it’s all about. Any issues you dealt with in the past year is now in the rearview mirror, and you’re starting with a fresh slate, sure as you go to bed at night and wake up refreshed the next day. A new year might not, on reflection, seem like a “new year,” but at the same time, it’s a reawakening from a busy period of time.

So as most of us return to work on this third day of 2023, let’s make it better than last year!

Make goals, not resolutions

This is an article I wrote three years ago, and it’s just as applicable now as it was when I first wrote it. Now that we’re two days into the new year, I figured it was worth reposting again.

Welcome to Ray Kim's 'blog

My previous post got me thinking about setting goals. I mentioned in my previous article that I hate setting New Year’s “resolutions.” I didn’t want to get into why in that article.

Well, in this article, I want to get into exactly why.

How many of you have made New Year’s resolutions? How many of you made them in years past? How many resolutions did you keep?

If I had to guess, probably not many, if any.

This is why I hate resolutions. They’re almost guaranteed to fail. Case in point: for those of you who go to a gym and work out, how packed is the gym in January? In all likelihood, it’s packed with people who resolved to go to the gym and work out this year.

Now, how many of these people are still at the gym by the end of the year? Or by July? Or…

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Upcoming speaking engagements (as of 12/27/2022) #SQLSaturday #WELocal #SWELocal #STCSummit

With only four days left in 2022, I don’t have any more speaking engagements in 2022. I do, however, have a couple lined up for 2023! Besides, it’s been a while since I posted one of these updates…

I am confirmed to speak at the following events.

  • March 3-4, 2023, Hartford, CT: WE Local Conference: I will be speaking at a conference hosted by the Society of Women Engineers in early March. This will be my second time speaking at this conference; I also spoke at this same conference in Buffalo last year. For this conference, I will be giving not one but two presentations: “Tech Writing for Techies,” an introduction to technical writing to technical people who don’t get tech writing, and “I lost my job! Now what?!?,” my presentation about the job hunt and surviving an unemployment situation.

    My job hunt presentation seems to be pretty popular, because I will be giving this same presentation at…
  • May 16, 2023, Atlanta, GA: STC Summit: This is a large national conference that takes place May 14-17. I am scheduled to speak on the 16th! I am especially excited about this conference, because I have been involved with STC for a little while, I’ve been wanting to get more involved with them, and speaking at STC Summit has been on my bucket list. I can now check that off my list! I’m also excited because Atlanta is a brand-new city for me. I have never been to Atlanta (other than changing planes at the airport, which doesn’t count)!

There are also a couple of SQL Saturdays to which I intend to submit. As of right now, neither of them is open yet for submissions, but I plan to submit to them once they’re open.

  • May 6, 2023, New York, NY: SQL Saturday #1048, NYC: I pretty much attend NYC SQL Saturday every year (in fact, NYC was the first SQL Saturday I ever attended, way back in 2010), so I will likely be there, regardless of whether or not any of my presentations are selected.
  • October 14, 2023, Burlington, MA: SQL Saturday Boston: The site for this event isn’t up yet; right now, it’s only a “save-the-date” on the SQL Saturday website. Nevertheless, I’ve attended Boston SQL Saturday a number of times, and I’ve become close with the folks out in Boston, so I will definitely submit when this one opens. That said, October is a long way away, so I’m hoping I don’t have any conflicts with that date!

So that’s what I have on my presentation calendar for next year. Hopefully, I’ll see you at an event near you!

Happy holidays, winding down 2022, and what’s in store next

As I write this, it’s the day after Christmas, 2022. Hopefully, those of you who are reading this had a wonderful holiday season. I hope you had a great Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanzaa, Festivus, or whatever your holiday celebration of choice is! For me, personally, Santa didn’t leave me much, but honestly, the older I get, the less important tangible Christmas gifts get. I got to spend quality time with my wife and my (now-13-year-old — !!!) niece, and that was the best Christmas present I could’ve asked for.

Now that 2022 is almost over, a lot of people spend time reflecting upon the past year, and trying to figure out what the new year will bring. I am no different, and I have to say that it has been a very eventful 2022.

I won’t get too much into it, as I try to avoid writing about things that are too personal in my very public ‘blog, but I will mention that 2022 was a very trying year. I had to deal with family issues this past August, which included one parent’s death and the other parent facing twilight years of life. (As I write this, the latter is still an issue and is ongoing.) Around the same time, we also dealt with the deaths of one of our beloved pets and a couple of friends of mine from college. To say that this made 2022 a very trying year is probably an understatement. All I could think about is a quote from the fourth Indiana Jones movie: “We seem to have reached the age where life stops giving us things and starts taking them away.” Professionally, I lost a job, got another one, and nearly lost the second one (disclosure: I managed to pull myself out, and am still employed there as I write this). I will not get into any details about the second one, except to say that I discovered something very personal about myself, and although it wasn’t directly related to the other personal issues that I just wrote about, those issues did nothing to help my situation.

What I will mention is that my personal issue was the fodder behind the article I wrote about taking care of yourself.

But enough about the crap that I had to deal with in 2022. Let’s talk about the good things that happened.

I did experience a lot of good things this year. Let’s start with my speaking schedule. Although things are still picking up after the pandemic, I did make it to speak at four in-person events this year, including a new one that had nothing to do with PASS, and my fourth consecutive time speaking at PASS Data Community Summit (or its equivalent).

I still shake my head that I’ve spoken at four straight PASS Summits. I don’t consider myself a SQL expert; as I often say, although I do have SQL experience, my knowledge of SQL falls under the category of “knows enough to be dangerous.” But I’ve been picked to speak there four times, so I must be doing something right!

I think the sentiment of speaking at events like these was best summed up by this tweet from a first-time speaker during PASS Summit.

Not all my 2022 successes were professional. I got to play several gigs with my rock band. I spent some time accompanying a local musical. My alma mater’s football team went 7-5 and is heading to a bowl game. And I got to attend countless events that allowed me to connect (or, in some cases, reconnect) with friends and family. While I did deal with a lot of issues in 2022, I’m happy to say that I’m definitely on the upswing.

That brings me to what’s next moving forward. I’ve received word that I’ve been invited to speak at two more events: another WE Local conference, and at STC Summit! I’m especially excited about the latter, because I’ve been a member of STC for a little while, and speaking at STC Summit has been a bucket list item for me. I also saw save-the-date entries for SQL Saturday as well (including one in NYC that my friend, Thomas Grohser told me about when I was in Seattle last month), so there will likely be more opportunities for me to speak as well. There are also numerous opportunities that are crossing my path. I won’t write about them all now, partially because none of them are in stone, but mostly because there are a lot of them, and I don’t remember them all! So I have a lot to look forward to in 2023 and beyond.

So, that pretty much sums up my reflections. I hope to be doing more as my issues are farther in my rearview mirror, and my upswing continues! Stay tuned for my exploits in 2023, and I hope all of you are on a similar track!

#PASSDataCommunitySummit — day 2 debrief, and thoughts about the last day

It’s Friday, and it’s the last day of the Summit! This has been an amazing week! I always enjoy attending events like this, and PASS Summit is no different. It has been a great week of seeing old friends, making new ones, and attending some great sessions!

I will be attending a couple more sessions today. I promised Kris Gruttemeyer that I would attend his session this morning. I had a drink with him the other night, he told me about his session, and it sounded really interesting! I’m looking forward to seeing it! If you’re stressed out about the pressures of being on-call, or just stressed out in general, this sounds like a really good session!

I’ve also been volunteered to moderate a session as well, so I’ll have to make sure that I’m there for that! We’ll see how it goes!

I also witnessed something amazing yesterday. While I was sitting in the speaker’s lounge (writing yesterday’s ‘blog article, in fact), Ed Pollack came into the room, saying there was a room full of about a hundred people and no one to give the presentation. Apparently the presenter was a no-show. (I won’t name the presenter in question, but we all hope he is okay, and it was nothing more than “maybe he overslept.”) John Miner, who was in the room as well, said “I know that topic. I can do the presentation.” He packed up his stuff, went to the room, and gave the presentation — all without any notice! As far as I’m concerned, John gets the superhero of the day award!

Most of the day was uneventful. I hung out with #SQLFamily, and attended a couple of afternoon sessions. (I’d talk about the sessions some more, but I’m short of time as I write this.) The highlight of my night is that I got together for dinner with my cousin, who lives in Seattle, and her husband! I have not seen them in years, and it was great to be able to get together with them and reconnect!

One of the things that strikes me about PASS Summit is how this event is international, not just national. I have heard many British and Australian accents. I have met many of those people, along with people from Canada. At Tuesday’s first-timers’ networking event, we had at least two (it might have been three) people at our table who were from Canada. I enjoy meeting all these people from all over the world, and it adds to an already-great experience!

At this time, I’m looking at the clock, and as much as I’d like to write more, I promised Kris that I’d sit in on his session, so I should probably try to go and find his room. I’ll try to write more later when I have a chance. (On the other hand, I fly back home tomorrow morning, so it’s also possible that this might be my last ‘blog article before the end of the Summit.) Hopefully, you’ll hear from me again before I leave Seattle, but if I don’t, I’ll write more when I’m back home!

Less than two weeks until #PASSDataCommunitySummit! #PASSSummit #SQLFamily #Networking

November arrived yesterday (where did this year go???), and it only recently occurred to me that I will be in Seattle in less than two weeks, speaking for the fourth time at PASS Data Community Summit (or it’s equivalent)! On Wednesday morning, among the first sessions of Summit, I will be giving one of my favorite presentations: the one on networking. Come check it out!

It still amazes me that I will be going back to speak at this awesome event for the fourth straight year. Whenever I look through the list of speakers — several of whom have become very good friends through my association with events such as SQL Saturday — I continue to be in awe of the fact that my name and face is associated with this amazing group of data professional rock stars. I started speaking on the SQL Saturday circuit in 2015, and if you’d told me back then that I would be speaking at PASS Summit for four straight years, I likely would’ve asked what you were smoking.

And yet, here I am. I don’t consider myself a SQL Server expert — heck, none of my presentations even have anything to do with SQL Server — but nevertheless, I am still contributing to the SQL Server, as well as other technical, communities. I sometimes ask myself if I really belong in this same group of talented data professionals; indeed, I was even once asked how I’m associated with this group. I think that’s a very valid question, and I sometimes ask myself that same question.

But one doesn’t get to speak at PASS Summit four straight years unless you’ve got the goods. I once described PASS Summit as being the SQL Saturday All-Star Game. If you’re picked once, it’s a great honor. If you’re picked more than once, you’re a solid player. Four straight years? Now we’re starting to get into Derek Jeter territory.

Okay, I don’t consider myself the same caliber as Jeter. I’d consider myself more like, say, Ozzie Smith: someone with a long and distinguished career who didn’t hit for a high batting average. He stayed steady and just did his thing. And that’s pretty much what I try to do.

Hope to see you in Seattle in two weeks!

Hey, stranger, it’s been a while…

Yes, I’m still alive.

I haven’t posted a ‘blog article in quite a while; in fact, for the first time since November and December 2016, I went over a month without writing any articles. (If you scroll down and look at my monthly archives, you’ll notice that nothing shows up for September, 2022.)

I won’t get into details, other than to say I’ve had to deal with multiple personal issues, but quite frankly, it’s been a very challenging end of summer (those of you who know me well know what I’ve been dealing with). Even as I write this, I’m not completely over what happened through the last couple of months of this summer. I’ve even mentioned to people that I have definitely not been myself over the course of the past few months.

However, that said, I will say that I’m back on the upswing, and am gradually getting back into the ballgame. I do have a couple of upcoming speaking engagements (SQL Saturday Boston and PASS Data Community Summit) that I’ll write about in future posts. (I’ll try to write about SQL Saturday soon, seeing that that event happens only a week from tomorrow as I write this.)

So if you’ve been wondering where I’ve been, I’m still around, but I’ve been laying low. It will likely take some time, but I’m hoping to be back in the swing of things very soon.

Edit: Today is the last day of September, so I guess I do have something showing up for September!