Blind spots

“All I want from tomorrow is to get it better than today…”
— Bruce Hornsby (or Huey Lewis — whomever you prefer)

“You’re only human; you’re allowed to make your share of mistakes…”
— Billy Joel

One of my favorite books is The Sword of Shannara by Terry Brooks.  For the benefit of those of you who’ve never read it (spoiler alert: if you’ve never read it and want to, I suggest you stop reading this paragraph and move to the next one, because what I’m about to say doesn’t get revealed until near the end of the book), the book involves a magic sword that has the ability to reveal truth.  When the sword’s magic is invoked, both the wielder and the recipient are forced to confront the truth.

There are many times that I wish I had a Sword of Shannara.  I can think of many people who would benefit from its magical power.  And I put myself at the top of that list.

An incident that occurred last night served to remind me of the blind spots that I have.  I don’t care to talk about the incident (the details aren’t important here, anyway), except that I felt as though I’d taken a big step backwards.  It’s not the first time that I’ve taken a step back, and as much as I try to avoid it, I suspect that it will likely not be the last.

We all have blind spots; it’s a part of being human.  More often than not, we aren’t aware that those blind spots are there — hey, there’s a reason why they’re called “blind” spots.  There is no magic sword to reveal those blind spots.  The best mirror we have for those blind spots is each other, in how we behave and react around one another.  If someone is smiling, laughing, or nodding his or her head around you, you’re probably doing something right.  If that person is frowning, yelling, or criticizing, then probably not.

As much as we try to do our best, inevitably, we will stumble somewhere down the line.  I admit that I’m probably still dwelling on it — I probably wouldn’t be writing this article, otherwise.  I’ll eventually get over it.  All we can do is to recognize our blind spots — once we recognize that they’re there — keep an open mind, learn from our mistakes, and keep moving forward.

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So, what’s in it for me… I mean, the company?

The Facebook “Your Memories” feature can sometimes be an interesting thing.  Yesterday, this memory from four years ago came up on my Facebook feed, and it’s one I want to share.

I think I’ve discovered the secret to great interviews — and I’m sharing this for the benefit of other job seekers like me.

Based on some resources that I’ve read (including “What Color Is Your Parachute?”), most job seekers go to an interview wanting to know, “what’s in it for me?” What they *should* be doing is asking the company, “what’s in it for them?” In other words, ask the company what they want and what you can do to fulfill it. Sell yourself on the precept of what value you bring to the company.

For the past two days, I’ve gone into interviews with this mindset, and it has served me well. It’s one of the reasons why I feel like I aced yesterday’s interview. Also, during this morning’s interview, I asked the question, “what are intergroup dynamics like? What other groups do you work with, how are the relationships, and what can I do to improve them?” When I asked that, I saw nods around the room that said, “that’s a good question!”

It’s too soon to say whether or not I landed either job, but I feel like I interviewed well, and I feel like I have a fighting chance.

Ever since I had this revelation four years ago, I’ve used this approach in every single job interview.  I won’t say that I aced every single job interview — I didn’t — but this mindset has made for better interviewing on my part.

Let me back up a little before I delve into this further.  It’s been often said that you should never not ask questions at a job interview.  Asking questions demonstrates that you’re interested in the job.  I’ve heard stories where a job candidate completely blew the interview simply because he or she did not ask any questions.  Not asking questions demonstrates that you’re indifferent toward the company or the job.

That said, it’s also important to ask the right questions.  Never ask about salary or benefits (as a general rule, I believe that you should never talk about salary or benefits, unless the interviewer brings it up).  If at all possible, try to avoid questions that ask, “what’s in it for me.”  Instead, ask questions that demonstrate, “how can I help you.”

Employers are nearly always looking for value, and their employees are no exception.  When interviewing potential candidates, they look to see what kind of value the candidates offer.  For me, I go to every job interview with a number of questions that I’ve formulated in advance — questions that demonstrate I’m interested, and I want to help.  For example, one question I always ask is, “what issues does the company or organization face, and how can I help address them?”  I’m asking what I can do for them.  It shows that I’m interested, and it shows that I’m willing to lend a hand.

For your reference, I found this information in my local library.  A couple of books I would recommend include the most recent edition of What Color Is Your Parachute? and Best Questions to Ask On Your Interview.  Among other things, these books provide ideas for questions for you to take with you to the interview.  Much of this information is also available on the internet; do a search and see what you can find.

I would also consider attending seminars and conferences, if you are able to do so.  For example, Thomas Grohser, one of my friends on the SQL Saturday speaker’s circuit, has a presentation called “Why candidates fail the job interview in the first minute.”  I’ve sat in on his presentation, and I would recommend it to any job seeker.

I won’t say that this mindset guarantees that you’ll get the job, but it will increase your chances.  This approach shows the interviewer that you’re interested, and you can add value to the organization.

Best of luck to you in your interview.

No rest for the unemployed

A while back, I wrote an article that I affectionately refer to as the “job hunter’s survival guide.”  One of the things I mention in the article is to “keep busy.”  In my current state of unemployment, I’ve discovered that I’m busier than I ever thought I would be.

First, there’s the job hunt itself.  I’ve often told people that “looking for a job is a full-time job.”  I have yet to disprove that theory.  My work days have been spent working on my resume, applying to positions, touching base with my networking contacts, interviewing, taking assessment exams, following up on leads and applications, and so on.  That makes for a lot of work, and it makes up a good chunk of my working hours.

Second, there are a number of things with which I’m involved.  I’ve said before that getting involved is a good thing for multiple reasons.  Since my former employer and I parted ways, I’ve been to two SQL Saturdays (including one in which I presented), and am scheduled to present at a third one in July.  I’ve rehearsed with my wind quintet.  I’m involved with my local SQL user group.  I work out at the gym.  I also have a number of things with other groups (such as one of my alumni groups) that I need to address.

Third, even staying at home doesn’t offer a break from my to-do list.  Household chores need to be addressed — I have a long list of items around the house.  We have two cats that want attention.  Those of you who are homeowners understand the struggle.  When you own a house, there’s never a shortage of things to do.

For someone like me, I’m finding a few other things to keep me busy.  If you’re reading this article, you’re looking at one of those things.  A writer — even a ‘blog author — always has something to do if he or she has something to write about.  I also have some presentation ideas that I want to develop; hopefully, you’ll see them soon at a SQL Saturday near you.  In doing so, I’m looking for more opportunities to learn new things and keep myself up-to-date.

Staying busy is a good thing; you don’t want to be idle.  If a prospective employer asks what you did during your downtime, you can list all these things you did to keep yourself busy.  When you’re in the job market, small things like this can give you an edge.

Reinventing yourself

If there’s one thing I’ve managed to develop throughout my professional life, it’s my ability to adjust to my environment.  I’ve practically made a career out of it.  It’s an ability that has managed to keep me sane in tough situations, not to mention that it has enabled me to extend my shelf life long after my role, whether it’s because of an organization’s changing needs or my skill set no longer fits, has become obsolete.

A ballplayer with a long career (yes, here I go again with the baseball analogies) is usually able to do so by developing a new strength after an old one is no longer effective.  For example, pitchers such as C.C. Sabathia or Bartolo Colon have reinvented themselves as finesse pitchers who get batters out using guile and precision, long after their fastballs are no longer effective.  Likewise, a professional who is having difficulty keeping up with modern trends or technology may need to reinvent him or herself in order to remain relevant in the marketplace.

My recent unemployment forced me to take stock of where I am in my career and where I want to be going.  Even before my (now-former) employer let me go, I’d been asking myself some hard questions about who I was.  I had been struggling as a developer, which was making me question whether or not it was what I should — or even wanted — to be doing.  At the same time, I also considered my strengths.  What was I good at doing?  Were these strengths marketable?  Were they skills that I could offer to an organization?  Would I enjoy a position that took advantage of these strengths?

For me, personally, I discovered — or, more accurately, re-discovered — that my strengths were in writing and communication, not software development.  This revelation made me realize several things.  While I enjoyed doing development work, I found that I wasn’t passionate about it.  I was, however, passionate about writing and documentation — to the point that I began steering myself in that direction.  I became openly critical about my company’s documentation (and, in many cases, the lack of).  My SQL Saturday presentations have all been based on writing and communication.  Even in my current job search, my focus has been on positions that emphasize writing and communication over hardcore technical skills.  Having said that, I am also not discounting my technical background; my ideal position is one that takes advantage of that background.  While I am looking for something that focuses on communication, I am looking at my technical background to supplement that skill.

At this point in time, whether or not this strategy lands me a new position remains to be seen.  However, I’ve made some observations.  First, I’ve noticed that prospective employers appear to be more receptive to my approach.  I seem to be getting more and better prospective opportunities, and they are coming quickly.  Second, I’ve noticed that, in conversations and interviews, I am much more confident and assertive.  Third, I’m much more focused in my search — in contrast to job searches in years past, where I would apply to anything and everything that even remotely sounded like a position I could fill.  Finally, as strange as it may seem, I’m finding that I’m actually having more fun with this process.

It’s often been said that when a door closes, another opens.  If a current position or career isn’t working for you, it might be time to take stock and reinvent yourself.  You might discover a new mindset and a new motivation.  You might discover a new passion.  You might even find that reinventing yourself results in a new career path — one that is more satisfying and rewarding than you had ever previously believed.

Throwing out memories

Yesterday, I got into a conversation with someone about getting rid of stuff.  (I have no idea how we got into that conversation.)  I told her that I was a self-admitted pack rat, and (like many other people, I’m sure) I had a tough time with getting rid of things.  How many of you have tried to clean out your closet, your attic, or your basement, come across an item, and have said either “oh that holds fond memories” or “I might need that later”?  I’d bet that if I asked that question in a crowded room, almost every hand would be raised.

She said something profound: “Everything has a story.  When I get rid of something, if, say, I’m giving something away, I’ll tell that person the story behind it.  For example, let’s say I’m getting rid of a dress.  I’ll say, ‘oh, I wore that dress for a friend’s wedding,’ or whatever the story is behind it.  Once I tell the story, I can let it go.”

She gave me some advice: “If you’re getting rid of something, tell someone about it — even if all you do is write it down somewhere.  Even if no one ever reads it, at least the memory is preserved.”

It’s hard to let go.  We place a lot of value in things, whether they’re people, relationships, or inanimate objects.  If something is valuable to you, you gain an attachment to it.  The stronger the attachment, the more difficult it is to let it go.

So the next time you’re getting rid of stuff, tell someone about it — even if you just write it down.  You might find it easier to part ways.

Be the best you you can be

Ho-Jon: “How can I ever thank you?”
Hawkeye Pierce: “You just go and be the best you you can be.”

“Won’t you please, please tell me what we’ve learned?  I know it sounds absurd, but please tell me who I am…”
— Supertramp, “The Logical Song”

“Who are you?  Who, who, who, who?”
— The Who

At my CrossFit gym last night, we had a tearful good-bye to a friend (one of our members) who was moving out to the western part of the state, along with her husband and children, for a new life.  One thing she said struck me: “I’m not the same person I was when I walked into this place.  How is this new person going to be able to adapt to a new place?  Am I going to be able to find another Ray, or another [name], or another [another name]…?”

I said to her, “all you can do is be you.”

I said that, and I believe that.  But what, exactly, does that mean?

I could probably write an entire book about that (and some people have), but I’ll spare you the gory details.  Besides, I’m no psychologist, and what I say might be worth about as much as a politician’s alt-facts (don’t get me started).  But, since this is a ‘blog article, and I write what I think, well…

For starters, you’re the one person whom you’ll get to know the best.  You know your likes and dislikes, your strengths and weaknesses, your tastes, your interests, and so on, better than anyone else.  You’re the one person over whom you have complete, 100% control (disclaimer: I am not talking clinically; that is another discussion about which I know nearly nothing).   If you don’t know yourself, if you don’t take stock of who you are, you’ll start having issues.

Knowing yourself leads you to something else: having confidence and faith in yourself.  If you know yourself, you know, for the most part, what you’re capable of doing.  I’m not always sure as to what I’m capable of handling, but I do know myself enough to know what I can do.

This bring me to another thought: being you also means testing your limits.  Testing your limits means stepping outside your comfort zone.  Are you capable of doing more?  Often, you won’t know until you try.  And once you do try, how does it make you feel?  Proud?  Accomplished?  Can you do even better the next time you try?  The point is, you will always be you, but you are never static.  We are always changing.  Who you are now is probably not the same you from years ago.  And who you will be in several years won’t be the same you that you are now.

The world is a scary place.  It is human nature to fear what we don’t know.  But the world around us often defines who we are.  Who we are depends on what kind of cards we’re dealt.  We are often shaped by the changes we face.  And in the end, the way you deal with change is to continue being the same, ever-changing you that you’ve always been.