My first #STCSummit: the debrief #STC23 #TechComm

This article is going out a little later than I’d hoped, but better late than never, and I wanted to get this out while stuff was still fresh in my mind.

After taking some time to recover, I’ve returned home from my first STC Summit! I’ve wanted to attend this event for some time, and I’m very glad I did!

I flew down on a Sunday, checked in, and took some time to decompress from my travels. (It took two flights and stops in two different cities before I arrived in Atlanta.) Even before the two-and-a-half days of sessions began, I connected with several people and even got into some deep discussions related to my upcoming presentation later that week.

I met a lot of people at this event, including STC leaders and other attendees. As it is with any conference event, networking is a huge part of it, and I did my share. My list of LinkedIn connections expanded significantly during the week! I also brought a stack of my business cards, thinking that I would have plenty to hand out. As it turned out, I should’ve brought the entire box. By the end of the conference, I only had two cards left. Personally, I like my business cards, and they’re always a conversation piece whenever I hand them out. I love the reactions I get when I give them to people!

There were a number of things that I took away from the Summit. Among them:

• Jack Molisani, one of the people I met, had an article he had written about beating the ATS. I make no secret of the fact that I absolutely hate ATS. But regardless of how I feel about it, ATS is reality, and job hunters need to deal with it.

• Jack also offered to review my resume. While I thought my resume was pretty good, I also recognize that there is always room for improvement, so I took him up on it. He gave me suggestions that didn’t even occur to me. Among them: list what I do at the very top, right-justify dates on my experience and education, use san-serif fonts to save space and for better readability, don’t list proprietary systems (genericize them instead), and make my accomplishments more actionable (e.g. “saved the company millions of dollars by…[doing this]”).

• Jack also introduced me to Dr. Craig Baehr, the editor of Intercom magazine. We spoke about possibly writing an article in which they feature STC members (like me!). I told him that I was definitely interested, and would be in touch. I hope I can live up to the standards!

• There were a number of sessions that spoke to me. I attended Amanda Patterson’s presentation about creating a taxonomy. I have to admit that information organization is an area when I could use some brushing up, and I found her presentation to be quite informative. I also attended Swapnil Ogale’s session about building an online portfolio. I have to admit that this is an area that had not occurred to me, and it’s definitely something I want to build. I’ve put in for jobs where employers ask me for writing samples, and I would send them a link where I keep a few PDF files. This session taught me that an online portfolio can be just as critical as a resume. I intend to set aside some time to build such a portfolio. The next time I’m asked for writing samples, I’ll be able to send them here.

• I would be remiss if I didn’t talk about my own session. My job hunt presentation has been one of my best sellers as of late. I think this is one of my better presentations, and everyone I spoke with afterward said that I gave a good presentation. I’m happy to help people out as much as I can, and hopefully, attendees will have gotten something out of my session.

• As part of the Summit activities, a resume review session was also offered. During my presentation, I encouraged people to sign up for it and get their resumes reviewed (a point that I mention during my presentation).

Of course, Summit wasn’t just about presentations. Conferences are also about people. I’ve attended enough PASS events that I have many friends I look forward to seeing, and STC Summit gave me an opportunity not just to network, but to make new friends as well! I succeeded in doing so; over the course of the first couple of days, although I had only just met most of these people, I felt just as comfortable around them as I do with people whom I’ve known for several years! I had no problem attending social events, spending time, and sharing meals with them!

They did have some evening social events planned, but I wasn’t able to partake because of my own plans. When I told people that I was heading to Atlanta for this event, several of my friends who live in the Atlanta area contacted me about getting together. I had dinner with four different friends over three nights. It was great getting together with friends whom I either haven’t seen in many years or don’t get to see very often, and it just added to my great experiences during my trip!

I decided to take Amtrak home, rather than flying. I enjoy traveling by train, and I wanted to take my time going home. It allowed me a chance to see parts of the country that I never get to see, as well as meeting more people on the train. My journey home, which took almost exactly 24 hours, included a three hour layover at Penn Station, which allowed me a chance to get myself a decent dinner in midtown Manhattan before catching my connecting train home.

I’ve spoken four times at PASS Summit, but this was my first time speaking for an STC event. This was important to me. Although I have been heavily involved with PASS, SQL Saturday, and a number of related events for several years (including co-founding a local user group), STC is much more closely related to what I do professionally, and speaking at STC Summit is something that has been on my bucket list for a little while. That item has now been fulfilled. That doesn’t mean I’ll rest on my Summit laurels; I fully intend to apply to speak at this event again, and I very much look forward to the next time!

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We all get rejected. Don’t take it personally

You’ve been let go from your job. Or maybe you were passed over for the promotion. Or you applied to a position you very much wanted, and didn’t get so much as an acknowledgement of your application. Or you were turned down by the school or program that you had your heart set on attending. Or maybe your “great idea” got shot down. The list is nearly endless. Whatever the situation, or whatever the reason, we will all inevitably be rejected.

A couple of things made me think about this: a very recent situation where I was rejected for something (I won’t get into the details of it here), and the job hunt presentation that I just gave this past weekend at WE Local Hartford. In my presentation, I include a slide that talks about what to do when you’re rejected. I figured I should expand upon that. It occurred to me that, when it comes to professional development, we talk a lot about improving yourself and things to do to improve your chances. But we rarely talk about what happens when — not if — we get rejected.

Let’s face it. Getting rejected sucks. It’s a blow to your ego. You start thinking about what you did wrong. You start wondering if you’re really qualified to be doing what you’re doing. It’s often a major contributor, if not the root cause, of imposter syndrome. I can tell you that I’ve suffered my share of it, and it’s shaped my professional career in a number of ways. I would be lying to you if I said that I’m immune to rejection and it doesn’t get me down, because I’m not, and it does.

That said, when it comes to professional development, getting rejected is rarely personal. Now, I’m not going to lie and say that getting rejected for personal reasons doesn’t exist, because it does. But think of this: if you’re applying for a job or a school, what are the chances that someone making the decision knows who you are and is rejecting you because of a personal issue? I’d think that those odds are almost zero.

(It’s possible that maybe you were rejected because of some form of discrimination, such as racism, sexism, or ageism. However, this goes outside the scope of this article, and is another topic for another time.)

So how do you deal with rejection? I don’t know about the psychology behind dealing with rejection (that’s a conversation that goes beyond my education and expertise), but here’s what I think.

Remember that you are human. We are not machines. You are not expected to be perfect. You are going to make mistakes. In most cases, one or two slip-ups shouldn’t be enough to sink you. Don’t spend your time dwelling on what you did wrong. It’s often not worth the stress.

That said, make sure that you…

Fix whatever is broken. Each mistake we make is a learning experience. Find out what the mistake is and take steps to fix it so you’ll know better the next time it comes up.

So how do you find out what’s broken? For one thing…

Get feedback. It is perfectly okay to ask why you were rejected. Maybe you didn’t have the right skill set, or a skill was lacking. Maybe you didn’t communicate well. Whatever the reason, asking why you were rejected helps you to identify any issues that you need to fix.

It might also simply be that you just weren’t the right fit. I keep thinking of a scene at the beginning of Tootsie where Dustin Hoffman’s character was auditioning for a show. After arguing with the director as to why he should be picked, he was finally told, “we’re looking for somebody else, okay?” It takes two to tango, and not every match is a perfect fit, whether it’s different cultures, mindsets, skill sets, or whatever. Think of it this way: if it’s not the right fit, do you really want to be there, anyway?

Consider the competition. Maybe someone else has a better skill set, or is more experienced. Maybe there were 200 applicants for only one position, which means that 199 people were going to get rejected… and you just happened to be one of them. Only one person can be the best, so chances are that no matter how good you are, there will likely be someone who is better than you.

Always take the high road. Whatever you do, keep a positive mindset (yes, I realize that this is easier said than done). As I said earlier, it is okay to ask why you were rejected, and if you can get an honest answer, you can fix it and move on. You also don’t want to burn bridges; you never know whether or not you’ll need to deal with that person or company again. Even for jobs for which I’ve been rejected, I’ve asked if it was okay for me to connect with them on LinkedIn, and most of them have obliged.

Have a short memory. It’s human nature to dwell on what went wrong, so the ability to forget about it and move on can often be an asset. Even Mariano Rivera, the Hall of Fame relief pitcher who seemed nearly untouchable, gave up an occasional home run or walkoff hit. He often mentioned that one of his assets was to forget about it and move on to the next game.

Distract yourself. Something to get your mind off your experience might not be a bad thing. Forget about your issue for a while and go do something you enjoy. Go to a movie, work on your hobbies, play golf, hang out with friends, whatever it takes for you to get your mind off of it for a while.

Talk to someone. Don’t keep your emotions bottled up. Get it out of your system. Talk to a friend and say what’s on your mind. Not only will it feel good to unload your feelings, it’s also an opportunity to network.

When I gave my presentation in Hartford this past weekend, I asked if anyone had lost their job and was looking. One lady raised her hand. I didn’t get a chance to talk to her, but I did get a sense that she was frustrated by her situation. If she is reading this, I want to you know that it happens to the best of us. We’ve been there and done that. Don’t let the rejections define you.

Keep plowing through, and eventually, you’ll get accepted.

Support your local public library

I remember when I was a kid, Tuesday was my favorite day of the week. That was because that was library day. One of my parents would take me and my siblings to the local public library where we would check out books and magazines, take them home to read, and bring them back next week to do it over again. Back in those days, you were only allowed to keep books for a week (unless, of course, you renewed them).

Now that I’m much older, I still enjoy going to the library, although I don’t go as much as I used to (usually, time commitments keep me from going as much as I’d like). Nevertheless, I have a library card, and I enjoy going whenever I have the chance.

I was thinking about this earlier this evening while I was researching meeting venues. There are plenty of them that charge an arm and a leg, but why do that if a local library has meeting facilities? (I was also considering firehouses — which usually has meeting space — as well, but that’s another post for another time.)

The library is a great place. Not only can you check out books, you can also check out music, do some research (this was especially true in the days before the internet), attend talks and other events, and maybe even meet people. It’s a great public resource, and it’s free (assuming you don’t have to pay any overdue fees)! If a person doesn’t have access to a computer or the internet, (s)he can usually book computer time at a library.

I really think the public library is an underutilized resource these days, especially with the advent of electronic and online resources. Even when I’m giving my presentations, one resource that I nearly always cite is to “go check out your local library.” It’s a neat place to hang out, and there’s always something to be said about wandering around stacks of books. Even in this day and age of the internet and online resources, your local public library is still relevant.

New old presentations

As I mentioned earlier, I have a few speaking gigs coming up, including one in Hartford, CT in March. I’m actually doing two presentations for Hartford: my job hunt presentation (which seems to be one of my best sellers; I’ve done this presentation several times, and I will also be doing it for STC Summit), and my presentation on technical writing. So, I downloaded the WE Local PowerPoint templates from their speaker’s resource page so that I could apply them to my presentations.

I haven’t yet applied it to my job search presentation. To be honest, I’m not terribly worried about it. It’s mainly a matter of transferring my material to the new template, so it shouldn’t be a big deal.

The tech writing one, however, was another story. When I looked at my slides, I realized just how much it needed to be overhauled. It wasn’t very well organized, it was out of date, and I’ve grown considerably in my profession since I last gave that presentation (the last time I presented it was in New York in 2019). The presentation badly needed to be rewritten. So I spent my entire afternoon this past Sunday putting it into the WE Local template.

When I was finished, what I had was practically (though not exactly) a brand-new presentation. It is better organized, more clear, and I included points that I did not address before I restructured it. I think the new (old?) presentation is much better than it was. Not only am I looking forward to giving it in a couple of months, I’m also looking forward to submitting it to more events.

Likewise, I also plan to revamp my presentation about — well — presenting. I’ve only given this presentation once, and quite frankly, not only is it not very good, it’s also narrowly focused, and like my old tech writing presentation, it’s also not very well organized. Although I haven’t started yet, I essentially plan to pull a This Old House on it, completely tearing it down, and rebuilding it. I already have an idea in the back of my head as to how I’m going to do it, and I’ve already rebranded it (in fact, I even submitted it to SQL Saturday NYC in May).

I’ve been trying to come up with new presentation ideas. I’ve mentioned to people that I’ve reached the point where I’m starting to recycle submissions to PASS Summit and other conferences. I might still work on some new ones (stay tuned). But in the meantime, it’s worth my time to take some of my older presentations and give them new life.

The zen of the New Year

Why do we celebrate the New Year? All it is, after all, is a turn of a calendar, when December rolls into January. January 1 isn’t much different than December 31. So what’s the big deal?

As I write this, it’s January 3, three days into 2023. I’m glad 2022 is behind me, as it was a very trying year (as I mentioned earlier), and I’m looking forward to what 2023 has in store. I already have two speaking engagements lined up, and I’m sure I’ll have more fairly soon. I’m getting ready to go back to work (even as I write this, I’m getting ready to head into the office), and I feel like it’s a fresh start.

That’s what it’s all about. Any issues you dealt with in the past year is now in the rearview mirror, and you’re starting with a fresh slate, sure as you go to bed at night and wake up refreshed the next day. A new year might not, on reflection, seem like a “new year,” but at the same time, it’s a reawakening from a busy period of time.

So as most of us return to work on this third day of 2023, let’s make it better than last year!

Make goals, not resolutions

This is an article I wrote three years ago, and it’s just as applicable now as it was when I first wrote it. Now that we’re two days into the new year, I figured it was worth reposting again.

Welcome to Ray Kim's 'blog

My previous post got me thinking about setting goals. I mentioned in my previous article that I hate setting New Year’s “resolutions.” I didn’t want to get into why in that article.

Well, in this article, I want to get into exactly why.

How many of you have made New Year’s resolutions? How many of you made them in years past? How many resolutions did you keep?

If I had to guess, probably not many, if any.

This is why I hate resolutions. They’re almost guaranteed to fail. Case in point: for those of you who go to a gym and work out, how packed is the gym in January? In all likelihood, it’s packed with people who resolved to go to the gym and work out this year.

Now, how many of these people are still at the gym by the end of the year? Or by July? Or…

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The menial tasks are appreciated

Years ago at a previous job, I once had my manager say to me, “Ray, I have a job that really, really sucks, but someone has to do it, and it needs to get done. You game?”

Without getting too deeply into it (mainly because it’s sufficiently long enough ago that I don’t remember the details, anyway), the task was to clean up a conference room after we’d used it for a celebration. (I don’t remember what it was for, but I do remember that there was food involved.) I told him, “I got it. Don’t worry about it.”

So I went ahead and cleaned up the mess we’d left behind in the conference room. I didn’t fuss, and I didn’t complain. It had to be done, and someone had to take care of it. Not the greatest of tasks, but I can tell you that my coworkers appreciated my effort.

I was reminded of that recently, when I had to work on a task that involved a lot of tedious work. My coworker who assigned me the task understands just how much effort and tedium is involved. She gave me a thank-you and told me something like, “I know how crappy this is. I appreciate you taking care of it.”

The point here is that menial tasks are not sexy, glamorous, or exciting. You might not like them. But people appreciate you a lot more when you can get them done. This reflects well on you, and ultimately can even benefit you. You’re viewed positively as someone who takes care of little things without complaint (although, admittedly, I do crack some jokes about it — e.g. “what year is this? Is it still 2022?” and so on).

Menial tasks don’t necessarily add anything to your resume, but they do add style points to your personality. People will appreciate you for the extra effort. And that’s never a bad thing.

Hey, stranger, it’s been a while…

Yes, I’m still alive.

I haven’t posted a ‘blog article in quite a while; in fact, for the first time since November and December 2016, I went over a month without writing any articles. (If you scroll down and look at my monthly archives, you’ll notice that nothing shows up for September, 2022.)

I won’t get into details, other than to say I’ve had to deal with multiple personal issues, but quite frankly, it’s been a very challenging end of summer (those of you who know me well know what I’ve been dealing with). Even as I write this, I’m not completely over what happened through the last couple of months of this summer. I’ve even mentioned to people that I have definitely not been myself over the course of the past few months.

However, that said, I will say that I’m back on the upswing, and am gradually getting back into the ballgame. I do have a couple of upcoming speaking engagements (SQL Saturday Boston and PASS Data Community Summit) that I’ll write about in future posts. (I’ll try to write about SQL Saturday soon, seeing that that event happens only a week from tomorrow as I write this.)

So if you’ve been wondering where I’ve been, I’m still around, but I’ve been laying low. It will likely take some time, but I’m hoping to be back in the swing of things very soon.

Edit: Today is the last day of September, so I guess I do have something showing up for September!

Take care of yourself first

I very recently had a revelation that aroused a great deal of stress and anxiety in myself. (I won’t get into the specifics right now, but it’s very possible that I might discuss it more later, when — or if — the time is right.) It was bad enough that I ended up not feeling well yesterday, and it carried over into today. I woke up this morning feeling dizzy and abnormally chilly, even though I didn’t feel any other physical symptoms. I also felt extremely anxious and overwhelmed. I went back and forth with my coworker, suggesting that I’d be in late. The feedback I received was, stay home. If it’s something that will effect your focus and concentration, then it’s probably best to take care of it before coming in.

I decided to heed that advice, and am taking steps to take care of myself today (I’m trying to make some phone calls even as I write this article).

This would not be the first time that something like this has taken me down. I wrote that over a year ago, during the height of the pandemic, anxiety led me to the point of ignoring my own well-being to the point that I ended up becoming physically sick, and landing in the hospital.

As I get older, I am becoming more acutely aware that issues with my mindset can be just as big as a roadblock as being physically sick. They can affect your concentration, your focus, and even everyday activities. And if you don’t take the time to address them, they can be an impediment to any progress you try to make.

So take the time to take care of yourself, before you get in over your head.

The meaning of #MemorialDayMurph #CrossFit

This morning, I went and did a CrossFit tradition: Murph. Granted, I’m not the best athlete, and I’m not getting any younger (trust me, I’m older than I look), so I scaled it down to what I call a “half-Murph.” Rather than the full mile runs and the total number of reps, I scaled them down to 800m runs and a rep scheme of 50-100-150, rather than the one mile runs and the 100-200-300 reps that are prescribed. And in case you’re wondering, I finished in 34:53.

I’ve done this workout pretty much each Memorial Day since I joined CrossFit (except for the past couple of years due to the pandemic). I feel it’s my way of honoring what Memorial Day is about.

For anyone unfamiliar with the Murph workout, a little background is in order (those of you who are familiar can skip this paragraph). (Feel free to also check out the Wikipedia link above.) Michael Murphy, for whom the workout is named, was a Navy SEAL who died in Afghanistan. The workout that we call Murph was one he used to do before he was killed in action. Every year on Memorial Day, CrossFit affiliates honor his memory by doing the workout that he used to do.

People honor the memory of deceased servicemen in a number of ways, and this is my way of doing so. What better way to honor the deceased on Memorial Day than to perform the workout of one who gave his life.