Networking: it’s all about relationships

My last article got me thinking — what and why is networking? What’s it about? How is it supposed to work? It occurred to me that the person who sent me that first LinkedIn request (to which I refer in my previous article) doesn’t get it. She has no clue about what networking is, why it is, and how it works. Networking is not about just saying “I have X number of connections.” “Connecting” is not the same as “networking.” You may have a large number of LinkedIn connections. But are you really networking?

Networking is about building and nurturing relationships — for our purposes, building professional relationships. (I mention “professional” since it’s the main focus here, although solid social relationships often come out of them as well — and they, in turn, strengthen the business relationship. How often do you go out with your coworkers for lunch, a cup of coffee, a drink after work, a ballgame, or — in some rare cases — even a date?) Often, these relationships take time to develop. The stronger the relationship is, the stronger the network is. Subsequently, a good network takes time to develop, often weeks or months, and sometimes even as long as several years.

Granted, the relationship isn’t always social, and many people in a network may be (at best) more acquaintances than friends. There are many people in my network with whom I’ll likely never share so much as a cup of water at the watercooler — and that’s okay. What matters is that the connection is valuable and bidirectional. A network connection is mutually beneficial. I might need a favor from some person, and (s)he might someday need one from me. As long as two people are willing to assist each other in some way, shape, or form — it could be as minor as providing a small piece of advice, or as major as hiring that person for a six-figure executive position — if both sides benefit from the relationship, that is a network.

So how does one establish a network? I’ve touched on this a number of times. I talk about it extensively in my networking presentation. I highly recommend Matt Cushing‘s presentation about networking at a PASS/SQL event. (Amusing side note: as of this article, Matt has given his presentation four times — and I’ve attended all four! I’ll likely make it five-for-five when we hook up again in Virginia Beach. I jokingly told him that he can just start referring to me as “his prop.”) In my previous article, I mention how I connected with the person who sent me the second LinkedIn request I received that weekend. I wrote about how to establish a network online. I also wrote earlier about how common connections can benefit people.

And I’ve mentioned this many times before, but it bears repeating: the person who hired me for my current job is one of my Facebook friends.

Just because you’re “connected” to someone doesn’t mean you have a network. Networking is about relationships, whether they’re casual acquaintances or close friends. The stronger those relationships are, the stronger your network will be. How you nurture those relationships determines how strong your network is. And if you establish a strong network, chances are that you’ll go far in your professional endeavors, whatever they may be.

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